More Than Maintenance: The Seductive Power of Adornment and How We Show Up
I remember once talking to a guy and somehow the conversation led to clothes.. I mentioned I like nice things. He replied and asked, "When is it enough?"
Hunh?
I hadn't mentioned a price tag. I hadn't listed my actual investments, assets, or portfolio. He shouldn’’t have gotten an answer at all, but I did answer him in the moment because it caught me off guard, and it really did p*ss me clean off… First of all, we’d just met - this was within like the first 3 conversations and second, I’m not frivolous, but I am me. I don’t alter myself, but I do altar myself.
Let’s get into it.
The Art of Personal Adornment and the Language of Symbols
If you hadn’t noticed, we don’t live in a world where everything (anything really) make sense. The things that actually give us energy and life don't even care about logic at all. That’s the premise behind perfume, bold lipstick or colors. They’re sensory… a quiet, wordless language made of colors, scents, and textures to say something about who you are.
Carl Jung called colors "the mother tongue of the subconscious." He knew these visual cues completely bypass logic and drop straight into our emotions. They completely changes how people see us (and how we feel about ourselves) in a way that regular thinking just can't even begin to touch.
“Humility is a social construct created by hatin @ss hoes.”
But today’s society has a habit of reframing this whole language as vanity or excess.
And yes, I say today because we can look at mainstream film of the 70s, 80s, even 90s t and see this type of adornment was common place… two words: Diahann Carroll.
And I’m going to [virtually] hold your hand when I say this, babe: that inner goddess is probably anti-fast fashion. And no, not because of a trendy talking point like sustainability (because she’s probably not running around in everyday, bland "luxury brand" monogrammed wear either) but because she actually cares about how fabric feels against her skin. She wants to feel the weight of it, the drape of it, and how it moves when she walks.
And that feeling is not connected to the price point: the appearance of money, or the quantity of what she can get. She is connected to the lover and goddess inside, where getting dressed is her own ritual.
Color Therapy and Psychology
Look at color therapy, or chromotherapy. People have been using it since ancient Egypt to completely shift their mood and energy from the inside out. It’s essentially the original "dopamine dressing."
While Issac Newton looked at color only through the lense of physics and the light spectrum, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote a whole Theory of Colours back in the 1800s because he realized that certain tones trigger instinctive physiological and emotional responses.
So, next time you go to put something on, pay attention to how different colors actually make you feel when you're pulling them out.
Pink: It’s been used in modern color psychology tests to signal contentment and self-acceptance. It’s like a soft, intentional invitation to warmth and self-trust.
Yellow: Goethe actually mapped this out as a "plus" color because it’s inherently linked to warmth, optimism, and mental clarity. It's a vibrant energy that completely clears the room.
Orange: This is pure, unfiltered creativity, passion, and sensory pleasure. It’s a color that stimulates your whole emotional system and invites you to play.
I’m a color girl, I’ve tried all-black, but it doesn’t always feel like me. But if that’s your thing,
Black: It’s the ultimate color of protection and boundary-setting. In color therapy, black is everything BUT empty, it absorbs all light, acting like a shield that holds your energy close and keeps the outside noise out. It’s sophistication, mystery, and a simplest yet loudest way of saying you are completely grounded in your own power.
If patterns are your thing, lean into them too. Treat your wardrobe like its art.
Styling for Confidence
For me, it’s about honoring my structure. I have broad shoulders and a long neck, features that conventional style rules might try to tell you to soften or hide.
So what do I do? I accentuate them. Play them up.
Off-the-shoulder cuts are my absolute fav, and long, structural earrings are my go-to. Give me all of this prominent clavicle and no apologies.
And for my modest girls, all this applies to you too. I know some Muslimahs who are just STUNNING in the way they put a fit together! And again…
Find what works for you. And this isn't just for weekends, it's for the workplace, too.
I love a fluid slip dress, but when it’s time for business, I don't change who I am… I adapt it. I’ll drape a blazer over my shoulders, pull the straps a bit tighter. It’s an easy shift into pure power and confidence.
Elevating Your Daily Routine
That sensory presence shouldn't be reserved just for the outside world, either.
What changes when you choose a soft house dress (free-flowing or fitted) or bamboo cotton lounge set over old, oversized sweats? When you slip into some cute, lil feathered slippers and tie a pretty silk scarf around your hair just because it's a random Tuesday afternoon?
Try it and feel the shift. This isn't about an IG aesthetic for a performative "Self-Care Sunday" or imitating an influencer's curated feed. It’s about opting out of the copy-paste trends and instead stepping into embodying who you are.
Real adornment is never about what’s trending or the algorithm. It’s about finding the textures and shapes that match who you are, how you want to feel, and letting that confidence speak before you even open your mouth.
Confidence is always, ALWAYS the best accessory you can wear.
